BE MY LISTENER-
10:20 PM
finally i had my eye tested.
the specs will only be ready next week i guess.
should be darn expensive.
and finally i finished my te xie this afternoon.
and i just submitted through mel.
and i noticed i type the file name in chinese.
now it's in a kind of alien language.
i forgot mel can't read chinese.
OMG. well.. nvm. tink Ray won't mind.
as long as i submit.
heard that the te xie deadline was extended.
radio too. next friday.
saw the announcement on mel.
but te xie... Ray din't mention on mel.
ohmy. now i was wondering should i go back on friday?
i was planning to have lunch in school.
anyone had " I Not Stupid" show to lend?
as in the part one movie.
i need it for my asian cinema report as i forgot most of the storylines already. =X
`patriciaa~
11:32 PM
today was the last day of school.
of my year two life in poly.
well.. lessons were pretty boring i guess.
but i wanted to get big envelope and cue sheet from qiaowei today.
yupps. so i went for lessons.. unwilllingly.. LOL.
so friday will be going back to pass up my te xie and radio.
and next monday will have a talk on image grooming.
then next next monday will be my one and only lit exam.
well.. it was darn fast.
nobody starts studying i guess,
everyone was busy finishing up their work before deadline.
hmm.. i was still slacking.
still no mood to do my te xie.
sighs. friday passup. wish me luck.
the mood faster come pleasee.
next upcoming events will be valentines' day, CNY and i will be off.
so darn fucking fast.
i'm not prepared for it at all.
sighs.
i promise to enjoy CNY.
the every moments with my family and relatives.
that may be the very last time i will be seeing them before i'm off to that cheena place.
bless me when i'm over there.
i really need those blessings. LOL.
4months plus... way to longgg for meeee.....
`patriciaa~
10:34 PM
i had been wasting my time.
i got home so early today and yet i still haven't touch on my te xie.
wish me luck in that.
hope that i can hand in on time.
today. done with the radio 10mins capsule.
so happy lah. LOL.
finally i'm freed from those!
as i got home early today..
went to cut my hair.
it's now thinner and shorter.
but still not much difference than the previous one.
make a new specs today.
just that i haven't had my degree tested.
will go tomorrow i guess.
then maybe after a few days i can get my new specs le! :]
lessons at 2pm tomorrow.
can sleep more!
and it's the last day of my year two in poly!
handed in my passport and visa form today.
so it's now confirm i will go.
i just have to face the fact. :[
i don't want to leave.
can anyone save me?
`patriciaa~
11:52 PM
last week of school..
or rather.. last week of year two.
and there is no school on wed, thurs and fri.
so it should be last two days of school.
well.. many many work to be handed in.
hmm.. i had been slacking this weekends.
din't do on my te xie yet..
even though my 'materials' are ready.
but i did finish on my reviews.
all done. just haven't print out yet.
tomorrow gotta hand in my passport to the school already.
OMG. it's like so fast lah.
just like five more weeks and i'll be gone.
baaa. the feeling just sucks. it's too sudden, you see.
there was this sad incident that happen at home today..
my dad and brother was changing the water in the fish tank.
then dunno what happen they put three small fishes in together with the tortoise.
then suddenly i heard my sis screaming to ask me come out to the corridor.
the BAD tortoise BITE one of the fishes.
and the poor fish was struggling for help.
my poor brother was so upset..
he kept using the net to 'poke' the tortoise's head..
hoping that it would let go of the fish.
but that stupid tortoise just won't let go.
and my brother started to cry..
still not giving up.. wanted to save that fish.
this was the first time i saw my brother crying over a small animal.
i din't know that he loved the fish so much.
and by the way.. the fishes were caught by him on a school trip last year.
and that tortoise had been with me since i was in kindergarten.
when it was still a very tiny weeny one.
but never thought that i would hate it so much today.
then after much trying, the tortoise let go of the fish and we quickly get the fish out into another tank.
it moves its tail a few times and stop moving.
i was so angry with the tortoise that i use a stick to hit its shell.
but my kind hearted little brother cried and asked me to stop.
LOL. he was so cutee lah.
i almost wanted to throw that tortoise out of three storeys. ahha.
but i think it won't die so easily though.
mom says it was'nt the tortoise's fault as it thought the fish was food to eat.
but looking at the 'dead body' of that fish.. it was really that tortoise's fault.
she bought another four new fishes for my brother.
and i think he's ok already. (:
oh ya. yesterday night me and weng went chinatown.
those night markets for CNY opened yesterday.
darn crowded.
i'm in no CNY mood this year.
i'm more worried about that china trip.
just less than two weeks after CNY.
`patriciaa~
10:58 PM
it's now confirmed.
i will be going zhejiang early... first batch to go.
from 2nd march to 8th july.
OMG. that was so fast.
so much stuffs to prepare.
and i can't go zhejiang with my classmates already. :[
was temporarily selected my MOE.
not really confirm yet.
but so far being selected.
i thought i wouldn't pass the interview.
was darn screwed up yesterday.
was quite shocked to know that i'm temporarily selected.
sighs. gotta start preparing real soon.
went school early to do recording.
it was done fast.
we even finished up on our cue sheet.
then end up slacking.
no DAWs could be used.
all either booked orl program can't open.
well.. then it was still around two hours away from lesson.
so we went pizza hut to eat. :]
saw enqing there.
with a group of girls... happily eating. LOL.
had asian cinema last lesson today.
watched the last movie.
a singapore movie- twelve storeys.
i better do the review soon.
all need to pass up next week.
so next wed and thurs no lesson.
heh. so happy.
but gotta go back pass up homework i guess.
at least next week quite slack already.
just that got many homeworks to hand in.
then after lesson had a talk on resume writing and interview.
well.. it was a really useful talk.
learnt alot from there. (:
hmm.. well... it was all too sudden.
i was'nt well prepared.
i just hope that i would got in teaching.
since i need go early.
but of course, i will miss all my friends badly.
looking on the bright side:
I WON'T MISSED X'MAS, NEW YEAR, MY FAMILY MEMBERS' BDAY AND I COULD CELEBRATE WENG'S BDAY HAPPILY WHEN I'M BACK.
but i would miss our third anniversary. which is just a few days after i left.
and i will be very very worried about MY BOY when i leave. :[
DEADlines. DEADlines. DEADlines. i'm so DEAD. :X
`patriciaa~
11:05 PM
had the interview today.
waited darn long.
damn nervous.
well.. it was sucky.
i think i'm dead.
no confidence at all after the interview.
it just ain't my day.
well.. need three more weeks then the answer will be out.
need wait so long.
no time to prepare myself.
and i need to worry for three more weeks lahh. :x
i will leave it all to fate.
if they let me in, i will go.
if not of course i will stay!
was late for class today.
waited the bus darn long.
and there was a traffic jam along the way.
i was still late even though it wasn an afternoon class.
recently had been quite late for school.
well.. i also dunno why.
i just know holidays is coming.
and many many homeworks deadline soon!
gotta go school early tomorrow again.
to do recording.
cause the 10mins capsule.. we only had around 7mins plus.
so gotta add on more stuffs.
well.. wish me luck.
i always had trouble when it comes to doing radio projects.
not enough sleep these few days.
had been waking up darn early.
`patriciaa~
10:25 PM
tomorrow is the day.
the day that will decide my future.
the day that has the answer to everything.
the day that i both look forward and don't look forward to.
the answers will be out soon.
no matter what the answer will be, i won't be happy or sad.
just.... mixed feelings.
woke up darn early for recording today.
end up did nothing in the morning cause the person not there for us to book our recorder.
and i was darn tired today.
almost dozed off in lessons.
and it's been so long since i woke up so early.
when the sky is still dark..
hmm.. since those days in MI?
wow. that was really long.
wishing all that going interview tomorrow all the best. :]
`patriciaa~
10:35 PM
was doing editing today in the morning.
and i was late.
cause of traffic jam.
and the buses were all full.
that's what i hate about lessons at 9am.
but rushed there also no lesson.
lessons start at 11am.
i only knew it after i reached.
then do editing all the way.
till around 11.30am lesson then start. :x
oh well. then got back the 3mins info capsule.
got B+. so happy can. :]
improved so much compared to the last assignment.
then after lesson continued doing editing.
all was successful until we realised that some of the dialogue 'pop mic'.
and most are mine.
happy new year.
so tomorrow morning have to go school early to record those dialogue again.
yes darn early. 8am must start do!!
so tiring. so depressing.
i thought editing would be successful this time.
gotta wake up so early just to redo recordings.
damn fucked up. stupid homeworks.
yesterday went national library to borrow the chireg group work stuffs.
found a book that got exactly what i want.
but can't borrow.
nvm. i will wait. hahs.
if not just gotta photocopy already.
so many pages. :x
but i borrowed one book.
which happened to be the same as what qiaowei borrowed.
how lucky. :x
and still got my te xie.
i still haven't think about those questions to interview on.
i'm so dead.
holidays faster come! two more weeks!!! :]]
`patriciaa~
11:11 PM
did radio recording today.
well.. all was done. finally.
at least next monday can start on editing already.
hehs. :]
open house in school these few days.
and there is a new course under my school of humans.
omg. social psychology.
why why why it don't come earlier.
i would go for that if it came two years ago.
and still don't need go china.
so good. :x
and i haven't do my movie review.
baaa.
lastly... i love weng! :] :]
`patriciaa~
11:28 PM
had my thailand movie presentation today.
darn screwed up k.
i missed out so many content.
and present on what is not necessary.
OMG. wonder how WELL will i do for that.
anyways it was finally over.
i'm glad that it was over finally.
no matter what i think at least there will be a pass lah.
watched a thai show today.
the story was darn confusing.
wars here and there. fight and fight.
and so many gross scenes.
anyways it was NC16.
really too violent and disgusting.
and sharon say i was from thailand in my past life.
cause i could guess what they wanna do next.
ahhha. :] :]
and was joking with huilian throughout the show.
hmm.. i wonder how many more days of fun i will have with them.
sighs.
tomorrow no school actually.
but gotta go back for radio recording.
darn troublesome.
and so little time to do.
it's 10mins ok. not 3mins.
now very much lesser time than the 3mins one.
i think there is something very wrong with the homework schedule lah.
fucking rush and darn little time.
and i still need go back school tomorrow,
when it's a FRIDAY. :x
but after the presentation, i felt much better. :D
`patriciaa~
11:01 PM
today chireg lesson cancelled.
but go school earlier to do some touching up on the script.
then lit lessons.
brought both the notes and the textbooks.
two thick thick books.
in the end watched a movie during lesson.
din't use those books at all. darn heavy lah. :x
then after lessons got the talk on 'my paper'.
no reception inside. so bad. :/
after that went back home take laptop.
and i got the MOE interview letter today.
my interview will be on next wednesday morning.
so i can skip lessons.. i guess. heh.
i'm so worried.
if i did pass the interview, don't know i should be sad or happy.
both moods i will have bah.
but i will just try my best.
and leave the results to fate.
ok then after taking laptop went out with weng to toa payoh library.
to watch 'shutter'. got my presentation tomorrow.
i was darn last minute lah.
hope tomorrow will be ok.
after blogging i will stilll have to edit abit.
OMG. i'm so worried about my presentation tomorrow.
not much info i found on the directors.
hope everything will be smooth tomorrow.
wish me luck. :]
ohya. and 'shutter' was nice.
last time i din't watch.
after like three years then i watched.
hah. so outdated. but it was really nice. (:
after tomorrow's presentation, maybe i will feel better.
`patriciaa~
11:34 PM
today was damn slack.
sort of no lessons today.
did nothing much during class and ended damn early. heh.
got a new radio production assignment.
10mins podcast. OMG. it's 10mins.
will be doing on the special festivals all around the world.
i'm so dead.
i haven't do my thailand movie presentation.
and now another new homework coming up.
which is like only two weeks to get it completed.
after class, was slacking all the way.
waiting for consultation time.
really slacking.
i was damn bored lah.
then discussed the featured story topic with Ray.
well.. i don't know.
i will just take a step at a time.
now gotta finish on my presentation first.
it's on thursday lah.
so fucking fast.
went tuition after that.
and rushed back to school for briefing on the china trip.
oh gosh. how i wish i could stay with my friends.
i will be so damn lost there. :x
and i need them.
sighs.
now i still need wait for approval.
so meanwhile, i will try my best not to think about it first.
anyways what has to come will come.
i will just accept and take it. :]
(easier said than done :x)
and i'm sorry to my mother for what i had said and done yesterday.
glad that we are ok now. (:
`patriciaa~
1:56 AM
i'm really worried.
i'm not as brave as i think i would be.
i'm not as strong as i think i would be.
i want to be with my friends.
but i also want to get on with my ambition.
why can't both come together?
why must you make things so difficult for me?
WHY WHY WHY??????
what should i do?
i'm really lost this time.
really lost.
it's really a hard choice.
and i can't imagine the results after interview.
i won't be able to take the shock.
how i envy kids.
at least they don't need to make decisions.
life is full of making decisions.
and leading to a life full of regrets.
can we don't make decisions so that we won't regret?
the answer is a straight NO.
how contradicting.
how i wish i was a child right now. :x
`patriciaa~
11:41 PM
asian cinema lesson yesterday.
watched a japanese movie which is in black and white.
i could hardly understand anything.
and i was so sick yesterday.
if not for the movie and hL's presentation, i would take MC instead. LOL.
sore throat, fever and flu all came together.
i'm feeling so sleepy throughout the movie.
but it was damn complicated and damn hard to understand.
did the review last night.
actually more of copy and paste. heh.
so quite fast finish le.
and the proposal.
it was successful again. heh.
so will be doing on "I not Stupid" part one and two de movies.
then today.
ate burger king for lunch.
the big fish meal's price had gone up.
well.. and i got chicken cheesesticks for sides.
yumyum. :]
today damn suay lah.
my slippers snapped.
and i really had to DRAGGED my feet.
walked around dragging my feet to find another new slippers.
but none caught my eye.
anyways i was at Tampines.
far from home lah.
and the time was near tuition.
so i just hurried back Bishan.
asked my brother to bring down another pair of slippers for me.
while weng helped me go take from him as i could hardly walk.
thanks! (:
then after which hurried to tuition.
after tuition hurried down to Chinatown OG.
to buy my sis' birthday present.
her birthday is tomorrow.
happy birthday sister!
bought her a Nike shoe bag.
well.. that really costs big bucks.
but she likes it.
so still ok lah. LOL.
i'm so tired now.
tomorrow early morning still got tuition.
think i can't start on my thai movies presentation tonight.
aww.. so shag. and my mood is still damn down lah. :x
`patriciaa~
10:55 PM
these few nights were indeed torturing.
i can't sleep at night.
if can, also dint sleep well.
made the choice of applying for the switching to teaching track thing.
applied with xinni.
after much considerations.
as it had always been what i wanted.
it's only the teaching part that is what i want.
but i DON'T WANT to be separated from my friends.
i need them to talk to me when i'm bored.
i need them to comfort me when i'm down.
i need them to study with me when i'm studying.
i need them to laugh with me.
i need them to joke with me.
i need them.. for MANY MANY other things too.
i DON'T WANT to go china without them.
why can't i go china with them but i still can take teaching track?
if don't let me stay with them, why don't let me be in teaching track right from the start?
and why why why send that mail at this time?
i'm so lost.
i want my friends.
i also want to be a teacher.
what should i do?
this thing had really messed up my life.
making me moodless and easily angry.
i'm really sorry to my boy.
whom i had been venting my anger on.
i dunno what to do.
i'm so so lost.
what should i do?
did i make the right choice?
`patriciaa~
11:15 PM
school was quite slack today.
was very late for school today.
but luckily no lesson today.
only went back studio to finish up on our own work.
today did many stuffs.
finally finished on the radio capsule and press release.
hehs. had a great sense of achievement today.
just finished printing those stuffs.
so many many papers.
well.. chireg homework still left with referencing to finish up.
i'm so lazy right now to do that.
i'm feeling so relaxed now.
many homeworks had been cleared. hehe. :] :]
`patriciaa~
10:42 PM
saturday.
had tuition early in the morning.
wow. indeed tiring.
but luckily i only got tired towards the end of the day and not during tuition.
then afternoon went back my sec school to take the bursary awards.
around 500 students in Bishan took the award.
the hall was so crowded with people.
saw many friends who were there too.
and saw many familar faces..
whom i forgot who they were though.
my mom went along too.
cause my brother also took an award.
so she came for the both of us. ahha.
waited damn long for my turn to go up stage.
cause poly students towards the end.
it was really bored while waiting.
after everything ended, went around the school with weng.
so much things had changed.
how i wish i could go back to my sec school life once again.
i miss everything there. :[
then today, sunday.
went chinatown today with my family.
to eat lunch and shop with them at OG for a while.
it had been so long since i hang out with them.
i'm always so busy. :x
met weng after that.
and we went back toa payoh.
cause i wanna do my work.
went toa payoh library.
brought my laptop.
then can only use the wireless after i registered online.
yea registered the wireless @ SG today.
then i can use net in peace.
no mood to do homework.
so go online chat instead and try do some research.
then there was this nabei librarian.
shall not elaborate. WTF.
waste my time.
ask me shift here and there.
fucking bastard. almost quarrel with him.
then i started doing my homework quite late.
for like around three hours?
finally i finished my chireg homework.
hehs. but still got many homeworks undone.
but finally, at least, this most difficult one was done.
school again tomorrow. sad.
and so lost about that MOE thingy.
sighs.
i dunno what to do.
`patriciaa~
12:06 AM
it was an unhappy 34th month.
so many unhappy things happen.
and also received an email from ray.
about switching to teaching track.
it looks attractive as i always wanted to be a teacher.
but i will need to go china early instead.
sighs. so lost.
tomorrow early morning got tuition.
and afternoon going my sec sch to take the bursary.
and i had been out the whole day today.
of course.. no homework done.
but luckily i finished my movie review this morning.
but im more worried about the reg homework.
argh.
tonight sure cant do anything too.
i'm so dead lah.
why am i in such a mess?! ?!
5th jan 07. what a day.
`patriciaa~
11:37 PM
well.. got a present from 5 yue tian today.
it was a nice bear bear cushion!
i liked it alot! it will be sleeping wit me from tonight onwards. LOL.
thanks to Bel, Joy, Lixin, Xinni and Jiashan. :]
i had a nice 18th birthday.
thanks to everyone around me.
but i doubt i can enjoy my 19th birthday next year though. :[
school starts today.
well.. not enough sleep lah.
so long never wake up so early already.
so not used to it. :x
lessons were pretty boring today though.
it's the 3rd of jan today.
it had been 4years since weng started talking to me during our sec school days.
4years.. everything seems to happen just yesterday.
it's still quite fresh in my mind though.
how i wish to go back to those days.
how i wish i could start everything all over again.
how i wish i had cherish those days back then.
`patriciaa~
11:47 PM
alrites. i'm offically 18yrs old!
wow. like FINALLY.
i enjoyed my 18th birthday very much.
with friends, family and my boy. :]
received many greetings and presents!
thanks alot people! (:
i shall list them down one by one.
cause it really meant alot to me. heh.
thanks to those who remembered my birthday:
Daniel, Zhenyuan, Weizhen, Yvonne, Belinda, Weixin, Jiaqi(baby fat) , Huilian(beloved thampui) , Agnes, Zhihua, Winston, Kokkoung, Enqing, Tsemin(the birthday girl too) , Xinni, Jiashan, David, Joycelyn, Sharon, Wan er, Richard, Abby, Ephraim, Dee, Melvin, Xianlong, Sooshan, Lin, Nix, Junwei, Clifford, Guanming, Randy, Qianyun, Val and of course my family members.
thanks people! hope i didnt miss anyone out. :x
and now the presents part:
huilian, weizhen and sharon got me a musical box and a pair of earring and a nice piece of cake.
not forgetting the dinner and the fun we had at the arcade.
Lin, Nix and Junwei got me a necklace and a hp strap.
and of course thanks for coming and planning that outing.
Guanming and Randy got me a pair of earring.
thanks for coming and bringing us joy and laughter in the outing. LOL.
ah ma and my parents gave me hongbao instead of presents!
well.. thanks to them too!
my siblings made a card for me..
with some meaningful messages inside.
my brother even draw baby taz on tat card. LOL. so cutee.
my sister got me a pair of nice earring. heh.
weng, my dear boy, gave me a necklace, which just nice matched with the earring my sis gave, and a bracelet, which he all along thought that it was an anklet.
with a nice 'me to you bear' card and wrapping paper.
thanks for the effort.
i love all the presents i received this year. :] :]
shall blog about new year eve first.. 31st dec 06.
went ah ma house in early afternoon.
to celebrate my bday with her.
had a nice lunch.. with a nice choco cake. ahha.
hope she enjoyed.
after that meet weng and we headed to hougang for lunch.
cause my poor boy had been busy with my presents till he got no time for lunch. LOL.
after which headed down to bishan to meet clifford, matthew, lin and junwei.
then we headed down to marina square for dinner.
ate at a japanese restaurant (MOF).
the food was pretty nice.
and weng got a free desert from that restaurant.
shall not elaborate further.
after which went esplanade that same old spot to wait for fireworks.
at the same time oso met up with nix, qian and her friend, guanming randy and zhanjiang.
the fireworks was nice. hehs. (:
after that we walked to raffles place mrt to take train to somerset.
there was a serious human jam on the way there.
upon reaching cine, went to buy movie tickets.
divided into two groups.
one watched death note two and the other watched night at the museum.
i watched night at the museum AGAIN. LOL.
cause it was nice.
and i dint watch death note one. so dont want go on to part two yet.
watched movie at 3.30am. it was tiring.
but i did open my eyes throughout the show.
weng said the show was nice. hehs.
after which all the groups meet up and we all went back bishan at 6plus.
tiring. i slept throughout the whole train journey.
reached home at 7am. slept till 1pm.
cause i gotta go out soon.
going escape theme park with weng.
reached there at around 3.30pm.
the admission fee was damn cheap for this holidays.
6 bucks per person only.
was planning what rides to play.
but in the end only played three rides.
cause after my second ride, i dont feel well already.
i still go on to the third ride.
which almost made me vomit there.
dunno what happen this time.
i just dont feel well and cant go on playing.
aww. missed out so many nice rides.
sorry weng.
2007 now. third year of poly life is coming.
i'm so not looking forward.
but it's damn near now. sighs.
and i dint touch on any homeworks.
i'm so dead lah.
anyways happy new year 2007 to all! :]
wow. what a long post.
`patriciaa~